Being a font freak, I have been looking all over the web and have now
more than a gig of fonts. If any of you are as much of a fontaholic as I am, note me, and we can make arrangements to get them to you.
I'm finally starting to feel like my old self and that is so welcome to me.
I have been very blessed in my lifetime. I have not had to deal with the death of loved ones so close to me. When my grandparents died they were both in their late 80s and I still miss them both, but they lived long and full lives. All my memories of them are good and happy memories. I had an uncle who passed earlier this year and he had brain cancer. It was a blessing when he went. That sounds so cold and unfeeling doesn't it? People who can set every day with a loved one and watch them die by degrees, and remain strong for their loved one and the rest of the family, plus remain strong for themselves, those brave people are my heroes.
Those of you who know me well, know that when my father passed, he was a total stranger, we had never had a relationship and so when he died, there was no sense of loss, other than how a person would feel if a distant acquaintance had died.
My mom (still going strong now, at 81) I am fortunate and blessed that she is still here. She reads the Bible a lot and I have teased her about "cramming for final exams".
All my siblings are alive and all my nieces and nephews are as well. I have been aware for many years that one day at some future point, I was going to start losing people. I just never thought it would be one of my sweet grandchildren.
Life doesn't let us choose, on the one hand, however I have come to believe that what we think, what we believe, is what we become. There is this word, it is called accountability. I smoked for 40 years, and was told by my pulmonologist that my lungs showed no evidence that I had ever smoked, which made me cry, yet another blessing.
That doesn't mean that something may not happen later. That is the accountability part. If you give a dance, you have to pay the band.
We all have our own crosses to bear,sometimes with burdens are too heavy to carry alone. For those of us who believe in God, and Jesus, you may not have realized this, but on his way to Golgotha, Jesus wasn't able to carry his own cross, Simon of Cyrene was compelled by the Romans to carry Jesus cross. That gives me great comfort.
When someone close to you dies, your perspective changes, or should, if you are a thinking person. It made me realize how quickly we can lose someone we love. I mean yes, we "know" that, but it is only in the brain that we know that. When we experience that, in our heart and soul, when our spirit can hardly take it in, can hardly function with that knowledge, then we truly know. For me, it was a turning point. Some few of you know that I have been pagan for some years. There are so many things I don't get, don't understand and want to know the answers to. My spiritual beliefs now are intermixed. I do believe in God, and Jesus, I believe that all of nature reflects the fact that there is a creator. Hello, DNA is a "DIGITAL CODE". That implies design. Designs have designers. I wouldn't say that I worship nature. I don't. I love nature, would rather be out sitting under a tree on a day with a cool breeze flying by. There is this most amazing feeling that comes over me. That is a blessing too.
I would have to say that the pagan beliefs and some of the Native American beliefs I have, go hand in hand; similar, and so important, the respect of our planet. Mankind was to be a steward of the earth, and instead, we are the destroyers.
The kicker is that my belief in God is quite different than most people. I believe that God has a female partner. ( I know, there is a word for people who believe so differently and I can't help that, my beliefs are mine, and we all have the right, (at least for now) to believe what we believe. I can't walk you path for you, and you can't walk mine, but we can respect the road we are on. Now, having said all this, I am certain there are people who will read this and be offended by my use of the 'God' word. Here is the thing, I can respect your rights to your belief, I won't try to cram my beliefs down your thoat and you won't try to cram yours down mine.
I can even help you achieve not seeing the word god as often as you do. Send me your money. All the money you have that says, "In God We Trust"
Love you my friends. I truly do.